


It'd be a crime, to live this life without you.

by ThisB_tchEmpty



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adoption, Dad!Karl Jacobs, Dad!Quackity, Dad!Sapnap, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, Minor Injuries, Multi, Other, Panic Attacks, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisB_tchEmpty/pseuds/ThisB_tchEmpty
Summary: It’s Karl who finds him. Still sitting on his bench long after Tubbo had left to return to Snowchester with a promise to come see him soon, the disk he’d been listening to had long since stopped playing but he hadn’t made a move to change it or start it again.“Tommy?” Karl calls softly, gently placing his hand on the boy's shoulder as he slid into the spot that Tubbo had occupied mere hours before.-My first post on Ao3 so be gentle. (If any of the cc's express they are uncomfortable with any of this I will take it down :)
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit, Karl Jacobs & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 821
Collections: Cheshire's MCYT recs!, Completed stories I've read





	1. Oh darling, you deserve better than this.

It’s Karl who finds him. Still sitting on his bench long after Tubbo had left to return to Snowchester with a promise to come see him soon, the disk he’d been listening to had long since stopped playing but he hadn’t made a move to change it or start it again.

He was quite content to stare out across the land, the remnants of Wilbur ghostly voice rattle around his head banging on the door of every memory of the two of them he’d locked away a long time ago. 

“Tommy?” Karl calls softly, gently placing his hand on the boy's shoulder as he slid into the spot that Tubbo had occupied mere hours before. He jumped at the contact, been too lost in his head to hear anyone approaching. 

He should be more careful, he thinks offhandedly as he turns to face the older man. The cuts and bruises covering his body scream for him to stay still. The grimace on his face must’ve given away the pain he was in as Karl didn’t say anything else, just helped him to stand and lead him away. Away from the bench and the disks and the wars and the prison only a few meters away that held Dream between it’s obsidian walls. 

Tommy’s not sure which way they went, trusted Karl to keep him safe. Maybe he shouldn’t have. Shouldn’t have given up his trust so... _easily_ , after everything that had happened in the last couple of months. 

He barely knew the man. Knew he had been friends with Dream or maybe they still were friends, he’s not all that sure but his head is fuzzy and his heart is heavy. He’s tired. So fucking tired.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Karl mumbles. Like he could read Tommy’s mind, his thoughts were undeniably loud so perhaps he could hear them over the fuzziness that was stopping Tommy from holding onto anything tangible. The only thought even tempting to get past was to breathe. 

Still, he lets Karl take him into the house in front of them, surrounded by forests and mountains that he didn’t recognise. He wonders briefly how long they had been walking for but as Karl gently pushes him to sit on the bed and then to lay down, he finds he doesn’t really care and lets the much needed sleep take over his body. 

-

He wakes up in an unfamiliar bed to someone singing a few rooms away, it's loud and bad and terribly out of tune. It takes Tommy a moment to remember where he is. Well not where he is, because he really doesn’t know, but who he’s with. 

The singing, as bad as it is, calms down his racing heart. Stomps down the rising panic he felt when he woke up, he’s not sure if it’s from the nightmares that plagued his sleep or the realisation that he wasn’t in his own house. The singing- which is really not good reminds him that he’s safe here. 

He slowly and carefully makes his way out of the room, his body screaming at him in pain. It wasn’t as bad as it was before, so he tries to push the feeling to the back of his mind and instead focus on finding Karl.

The kitchen smelt like pancakes and lemons. It was a nice combination and juxtaposed Karls messy hair and comfy clothes nicely. He smiled when he noticed the teenager hovering in the doorway. 

“Hey!” Karl greeted, plated the pancakes and placed them in the empty spot at the kitchen island. He gestured to them with the spatula still in hand. “Eat. You probably haven’t in a while right?” 

Tommy nodded as he sat, taking a fork as it was handed to him. He ate as much as he could handle without throwing up. It wasn’t nearly as much as Karl would have liked but it was better than nothing.

“How did you sleep?” Karl asks, he takes the plate from Tommy and scrapes the remains into the bin. He leaves the plate in the sink to be washed later.

“Okay. My side fuckin’ hurts like a bitch though.” He rubs where the bruise is, barely contains the wince, Karl frowns and Tommy can’t help but feel like he did something wrong. “ ‘s okay, I’ll live.” He shrugs and Karl frowns harder. 

“Can I have a look?” He asks as gently as he’s done everything else with Tommy so far, so he nods and lifts his charred and ripped top revealing the yellowing bruise underneath. His whole body is covered in cuts. It breaks Karls heart a little (a lot) that someone could hurt a kid like this. 

“Quackity and Sapnap should be on their way here soon. I’ll ask them to get some stuff to get you all fixed up.” It’s Tommy’s turn to frown now, he’d completely forgotten about them. Karl had this whole fucking life and here he was intrudding in on it. 

“You don’t need to do that.” He reassured, a sad smile taking over his face. He liked it here even if it’d only be a few hours. It was safe and calm and just so good. “I probably have some healing potions at home, I’ll just get them when I go back.”

The look Karl gave him was unreadable. Somewhere between worry and confusion, anger slipping in through the cracks but something deep in Tommy's soul told him it wasn’t directed at him.

“It’s no problem, just stay and let me patch you up. I’ll sleep a whole lot better if you do.”  
He can feel the excuse in his mouth, prepares to say- anything, really, to get him out of it so he could wallow at home for a few days until there's another argument. Another war that he's forced to be a part of even if he so desperately wants to just sleep for a year or five. 

Something stops him, he doesn’t know what. Nods his head slowly and settles himself further into his seat. 

“Okay.”

-

He ends up staying for dinner, long after Quackity and Sapnap return and he’s all patched up. Then they argue that it’s too late for him to go home, that he should stay the night and leave when it’s lighter. Then it’s breakfast and then lunch and dinner again. A month later he’s still there but they’d stopped making excuses a long time ago. 

It’s still so good here, feels safer then he has in a long fucking time and he loves it. They’ve basically become his dads, because he needs someone to love him like that and they’ve all been more than willing to fill in where Phil had never been able (or even wanted) to.

He couldn’t tell them that, not even now. When they have all fallen into a blissfully domestic routine that Tommy is waiting to blow up in his face like it had every time before. He would bake and cook with Karl and mess around with Quackity. 

Sapnap would bring him books from the library every time he went back to get food or supplies, never really spending any time alone with Tommy. He got it though he was a lot to deal with, sometimes. Knew that people didn’t really like him all that much but as long as they kept letting him, he was going to stay.

And despite the whole not really liking him thing, Sapnap never missed family dinners or game night or lazy days that kept them all confined to the sofa with Tommy laying across their laps (he would always find his hand falling naturally to the teenagers hair and would comb his hand through it, lulling him to sleep).

So yeah, they’d all gotten comfortable with how it was. Tommy would roll his eyes and fake gag every time the three pretended to flirt with each other, joking about getting engaged and then married. The fond smile on his lips giving away that he was so unforgivably happy living here. 

He was happy, living off the grid with his three not really but kind of are his dads.

-

He goes to visit Dream. With Karl, Sapnap and Quackity by his side. It was his first time out of the safety of their little cottage since they’d locked Dream away. He was nervous, unbelievably so. The three men had noticed (of course they did, they’d been living with Tommy long enough to know when something was wrong) so they go through the process with him.

They lock their things away in the locker, get checked for any items one, two, three times. Stay within an arm's reach through the long hallways and through the towering doors. They go through room after room, with walls so thick no one would hear them if they screamed and locks so strong even his enchanted netherite pickaxe couldn’t get through them. 

But then-

The lava falls down and it’s just him and Dream.

They couldn’t come with him, even if he wanted them too. _Only one at a time,_ Sam had said. _He can’t hurt you in here._ Like he knew exactly what Dream had done to him, he probably did. Everyone always did even though Tommy hadn’t told anyone the true extent to it, no one knew exactly what happened. They knew bits and pieces from what others had heard or seen themselves but no one had ever had any of it confirmed by him. 

Still, they knew. 

It brought some kind of comfort, Sam's words. Made standing here that little bit more bearable. Comforted by the knowledge his family- his _real_ family were stood on the other side of the lava waiting to take him home.

“I knew you’d come eventually.” Dream said, as if he’d been waiting here purely for Tommy. A sadistic smile on his face as he casually leaned against the wall, the distance between them was the only keeping Tommy sane so when Dream kicked off the wall to stand up straight, he took a step back. 

Dream saw, of course he fucking saw and he smiled. This was fun for him. A game. It made all of this so much harder.

“Just came to make sure you were still here.” Tommy murmured. “And to let you know that I forgive you.” Dreams smile faltered, head tilted to the side like a confused dog. 

It took a lot to surprise Dream. Was always twelve steps ahead and three steps to the left. Uncatchable even locked away, under layers of lava and obsidian. He always knew what everyone was going to do next and was already so fucking far ahead.

_“But not you.” Dream had said, back when Tommy was in still exile and he had come to blow up his stuff once again. “I never know what you are going to do.” He placed the TnT above the hole and lit it, stepping back as it fell. “So I have to be prepared for everything.”_

_He said it like a confession. Like it was his darkest secret, one kept so close to his chest that it got lost somewhere along the way and he’d only just remembered._

_“One day Tommy… Your impulsiveness is going to kill you.” It was a warning, of sorts._

Tommy hadn’t really known what he meant by that, pushed the conversation to the back of his mind until they were in that bunker and there was an axe to Tubbo’s throat. He understood now. It had been his fault. If he had just accepted that his disks were gone, if he had never started wars over something that didn’t even matter now. Then Tubbo would still have all his lives and wouldn’t have lived through all the shitty things he didn’t deserve. 

He wouldn’t be here.

“I didn’t apologise.” He takes a step forward, Tommy doesn’t take one back this time. As much as he wants too, they aren’t close at all. It’s still too close though.

“Doesn’t matter.” Tommy shrugged, because it didn’t. Not really. In the end none of what he said in here mattered, even if Dream got out and told everyone because he was tired. Of this, of all of it. “I forgive you because if I don’t I’ll be angry, so fucking angry Dream and I cant do that anymore.”

Dream watches him, trying to figure out what kind of play this was. Always looking at things from a distance, looking for something, anything that could give him an advantage. He wasn’t going to find anything except an exhausted teenager who was trying his best to be better, to feel better. 

“It’s going to kill you.” Dream says, like he did all those months ago. When things were still rocky and before he found this family that loves him just as much as he loves them. Before things started to get better. 

“Not me.” Tommy takes the line from him. It feels wrong on his tongue just like it had felt wrong when Dream had said it to him. He never understood why Dream thought he was unpredictable when he’d fallen for the same tricks again and again. 

He wouldn’t this time though, maybe that was it. Maybe Dream knew that this day would come, the day that Tommy wasn’t angry or scared or whatever else anymore. Again, it doesn’t matter in the end.

-

“You okay?” Quackity asked as they made their way back down the prime path. He wanted to lie and say yes, just so they wouldn’t worry because they’ve been worrying way too much lately, especially about him. 

“I don’t know.” He says instead. It’s the truth. He doesn’t know what he feels anymore, wants to sleep if he’s honest but they have things to do first. “Do you- Do you mind if I wait here?” He says as he slows to a stop. 

The arm Quackity had thrown across his shoulder, despite being shorter, slipped off as Tommy filled with the hem of his t-shirt. 

“Yeah of course.” Karl smiles gently and reaches up to ruffle Tommy’s hair. He grabs Quackity’s hand to drag him along to where ever it is they were going and reaches for Sapnaps too before he’s stopped.

“I think I’m going to wait here too.” He gives Karl a look that Tommy can’t read, they are doing it again. Having conversations he can’t understand because they know each other inside and out, better than Tommy could ever hope to know another person. 

It makes him smile even though it’s so clearly about him as he settles on the bench Karl had found him on months ago, battered and bruised and so close to not ever being able to recover from what Dream did to him that he was planning on never visiting this bench again. Or anywhere else for that matter. 

“Okay.” Karl whispers, kissing Sapnap on the cheek. Quackity sloppily kisses his cheek too, laughing at the disgusted looked that his best friend gave him as he wiped the saliva off before Karl pulled him away with a laugh and a promise to be back soon. 

Hesitantly Sapnap takes the seat next to Tommy, they sit in silence for a while watching the bees that are buzzing around. 

“You didn’t have to stay. I know you don’t like me.” He says eventually, ignoring the incredulous look that Sapnap gives him at the words. “I’ll be fine.”

“Tommy…Kid, I don’t hate you.” It’s not a lie, he can tell that much. Sapnap has never been all that good at lying, wears his heart on his sleeve as Karl would say. Tommy just nods, standing to grab a disk out of the enderchest that lived near the bench. Sliding it into the jukebox before returning to his seat. 

“This ones my favorite.” He mutters. Hopes Sapnap gets the real meaning behind him playing it so he doesn’t have to explain that he loves Sapnap just as much as Karl and Quackity. That he’s stuck with Tommy now whether he wants to be or not. They’re family. 

They sit listening to the disk until it runs its course and Sapnap starts it again because he’s closer and Tommy really can’t be bothered to move. 

“Dream was my best friend.” Sapnap whispers, so only Tommy can hear. “And he- he did all those horrible things to you and I- I can’t look at you without being reminded of it.” He watches Sapnap as he talks, listens to him as he explains. “I could have stopped him but I didn’t and I don’t want you to have to think of all that everytime you see me.” Sapnap takes a deep breath, in and out. “I don’t want you to hate me because I didn’t stop Dream.”

Tommy laughs, at that. 

“You are such an idiot.” Tommy laughs again at the offended face Sapnap pulls and tries desperately to stop. He ends up stifling giggles as he talks again. “Dad-” 

He cuts himself off, the laughter dying in his chest. He hadn’t meant to say that. 

“ ‘s not your fault.” He mumbled continuing as if hadn’t said anything. “Nothing you could have done would have stopped him, we both know that.” Tommy shrugs as his face burns red, looking back over the land rather than at the man beside him.

Sapnap starts the disk again and Tommy’s thankful for the silence between them. 

He wished he’d kept his mouth shut, now everything was going to be ruined. He messed everything up. They were going to make him leave. He was going to be on his own again. He couldn’t do it. Not again. 

He didn’t want to be alone anymore. He’d been alone too long. Too long. Please. Not again. 

“-ommy. Tommy!” His attention snapped to the man crouched in front of him. It was Sapnap. “Breathe.” He takes a deep breath, following Sapnap’s exaggerated breathing. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” 

He nods, as best he can. With his still wobbly breathing. Sapnap cups his face and forces his attention to him. 

“I love you Tommy. You are my son. Have been for a long time now, whether we like it or not.” He laughs wetly, Sapnap swipes his thumb across his cheek swiping away tears Tommy hadn’t even realised were falling. “So if you want to call me dad, Karl and Quackity too, then you go right ahead.” 

Tommy nods as more tears fall, collapsing into Sapnaps lap. Arms instantly wrapping around him clutching at his t-shirt as he sobbed and sobbed, more than he had before. The undeniable feeling of being loved filling his chest until there wasn’t room for anything else and he’d surely die, if he had to go another day without it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I normally write on Wattpad but decided to post this one on here :D I hope you all liked and any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> Make sure to look after yourselves, drink plenty of water, eat and take any medication you need to!


	2. I wish things were different, but they aren't.

Tommy had forgotten that Karl, Sapnap and Quackity weren’t actually his dads. He’s been living with them for a year, at this point. Been involved in pretty much every decision in his life up until now, when they can’t really do anything but hold his hand and reassure him that it’ll be alright. 

And they all want to do more than that, would fight heaven and hell with their bare hands to do right by Tommy and make him smile again because he’s been doing that more and more recently and according to his dad’s, the world just seemed brighter when he was happy.

It was good, really. Living with them and making the decision to allow them into his life when he’s been fucked over one to many times before. He’s happier then he’s been in a long, _long_ time.

He doesn’t regret his decision. That’s not what this is… Not in the slightest. He just wishes things were different to how they are but they aren’t and now he has to find a way to face Phil and Techno and fucking Wilbur, who was newly ressurected and it was just-

A lot. 

Wished he had more time before he had to see practically everyone who lived in the smp but this was the only day that everyone was free to do whatever the hell this is- because it’s more than just him getting adopted.

It’s more than that even if Karl had told him it wasn’t a big deal and Sapnap had assured him everything would be just fine, Quackity had promised that he’ll stay by his side the entire time and it helped, calmed his heart and made breathing just that little bit easier. 

But now, he was on his way back to the place he’d fought so hard for, the people he’d given up everything for, for the first time since visiting Dream.

He hadn’t talked to anyone, not even Tubbo. His entire body ached at the thought of his best friend, he missed him so fucking much but he just couldn’t see him. Not yet. It wasn’t right. He wasn’t right yet and that wasn’t on Tubbo to fix. 

So yeah, he’d gone off the grid for a year. Spent it laughing with his dad’s over the gossip they’d bring back with them after visiting town and building happy memories that made him wonder how he’d lived before all this. Before all them, only to realise he’d stopped living a long time ago and had been merely surviving up until now. 

Had asked within the first few months of living with them not to tell anyone where he was and they’d respected that choice, lied to anyone who asked that they had no idea where he was even if the books in their bags were for him. 

“You doing okay kid?” Sapnap asked as Tommy came to a dead stop outside the newly built courthouse. Everyone was inside. Had all heard the news of Tommy coming here and wanted to be here to see him for the first time in forever. 

“I just…” He glanced around at all the new buildings, new trees and plants, new everything really. It was all so different to how he remembered it. “I haven’t seen everyone in so long and- and to come back with something as big as this I- I’m not sure how to react.” He shrugged and looked down at the ground nervously.

“It’s okay. To not know how to react to things.” Karl reassured, his hand coming to rest against Tommy’s cheek. “We’ll just take it one step at time, okay?” Tommy nodded, leaning into Karls hand. 

“Come on, we should go in before we’re late.” Quackity said, wrapping an arm around Tommy’s shoulder and kissing the top of his head. “One step at a time.” 

Karl and Quackity pushed open the tall wooden doors of the courthouse, Tommy safely stood between them. Sapnap walked behind them so he was surrounded.

Everyone turned towards them as the doors swung open with a bang, confused muttering filling the room. Tommy refused to look anywhere but forward as he made his way to the table at the front of the large room, his dads right beside him.

Awesamdude sat in the judge's seat, having been voted the most suitable to make these decisions. Everyone trusted him. Trusted his judgement.

Out the corner of his eye he saw Tubbo, he so desperately wanted to turn and look but forced himself to stay looking ahead. He would catch up with him later, just- he couldn’t right now. Phil, Techno and Wilbur, were sitting in the back row. Here out of curiosity of the situation rather than to see Tommy, to see if he was okay.

“Tommy.” Sam nodded toward the boy. “You asked for a meeting?” 

“I did.” He nodded, Sapnap reached up to squeeze his shoulder. God, he wished everyone wasn’t watching but when it came to legal issues they were open to the public. Complete transparency between people in positions of power and the public, Sapnap had explained a few days beforehand. 

“What is it you wish to discuss?” Sam asked, seriousness masking any emotion in his voice. He took this job as seriously as he took his role as a prison guard. Didn’t let anything cloud his judgment. 

“I want to request that you revoke the parental rights of Philza Minecraft under the reason of child abandonment and neglect.” The crowd audibly gasped, at that. Tommy kept his eyes on the table in front of him. He felt as his dads stepped closer to him protectively. 

“Tommy that is ridiculous.” Phil yelled, standing from his seat. Techno copied the movement, albeit more cautiously. He flinched and hoped to every god above that no one noticed. Sapnap reached for Tommy’s hand and held it comfortingly, rubbing soft circles with his thumb. “I never abando-”

“I would also like to request that the rights are handed over to Quackity, Sapnap and Karl.” Tommy spoke louder, interrupting Phil. Looking up into Sam’s eyes, hoping his desperation was clear. 

“Okay.” Sam nodded. “Request granted.” He said simply. Like this was the easiest decision he had ever had to make. Tommy wanted to sob, at that alone. He had made this all seem so _big_ but then, for Sam to just say _okay_. He wasn’t expecting that.

It was too much, way, way too much. 

He wanted- he needed to leave, everyone was looking at him and he just wanted them to stop-

“Sam! He’s my son!” Phil yelled, Wilbur visibly shook his head at that, like he was disappointed in what Phil was doing. Tommy couldn’t take this, not here. Not now.

“So what?” Tommy yelled back just as loud, spinning around to face him. Sapnap moved out of the way, hands still in his. Karl and Quackity both put one hand on both of his shoulders, doing whatever they could to remind him that they were there, that they would stay with him no matter what.

And Tommy was so fucking gratefull for them, thanked that gods above that they were there to keep him grounded. 

“It’s not like you were ever there for me! Too focused on Techno and Wilbur to even give a shit about me!” He squeezed Sapnaps hand and subconsciously leaned back into the others. “You literally killed Wilbur! The only person in the world that had been with me from the start!” 

Phil looked taken aback by his words. Wilbur was smiling gently, like he was proud of Tommy and he hated that a part of him loved the thought of that, of Will being proud of him. Techno had a similar look just more reserved and his thoughts were drowning trying to keep up with this all. 

“I may be your son…” Tommy began, because this mattered. It really fucking mattered, and he needed to make sure that Phil heard what he was saying. “But you are _not_ my dad.”

He didn’t wait for a reply. He couldn't. Had to get out, get away, go. Be anywhere but here.   
So he let go of Sapnap’s hand, let the hands on his shoulders fall off and left. He walked out without meeting anyones eyes, kept his head down because he was sure what else to do, now. Didn’t know if he could just move on from this, from them, with nothing more then a nod of the head in Wilbur and Techno’s direction and hoped they got the meaning behind it. 

Hoped they understood that all was forgiven, if that's what they wanted. That they are still his brother through and through, it’s just better for him. Better for him to be with Karl, Sapnap and Quackity. 

And that at the end of the day, he had to do this. Needed to, to make breathing easier and his heart calmer because he couldn’t keep living the way he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I decided to add a second chapter to this as you all seemed to like the first one!
> 
> I also feel like I should point out that I did removed the karlnapity tag and removed anything that said they were in a relationship as I saw a clip recently saying that Quackity doesn't endorse shipping and I don't want to make him uncomfortable in any way.
> 
> I did leave in the bit about Karl holding their hands and kissing their cheeks as I feel like Karl is the kind of person to do that to friends (obviously I can't say whether he is or isn't as I'm not him and if it ever made him uncomfortable in anyway I would take it out/take the fic down completely :)
> 
> So from now on this will just be them platonically adopting Tommy and living together as I still really love this idea :D


End file.
